I'm a good respectable girl and I'm not about to chase him down and try and steal him
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok- at work we recently got a new boss about 3 months ago. Hes my age and hes a really cool guy, very smart, attractive and a good manager. We get along really well and I'm basically his assistant. He confides in me with confidential work stuff and he sepeartes me from the rest of the team. We work well together. Since he's came to my store I've always felt a slight connection with him. We're both really smart and are good at remaining professional. Well a week ago a co-worker had a event that we all attended. He asked if I was going, and I said yes and he said ok then I'll go. So we were hanging out casually at the bar having a great time, laughing, smiling, joking around and we were really connecting. We talked about work and our ethics and how 'we' are and blah blah. By the end of the night we ended up mighty close to each other and we were flirting and laughing and as I was laughing I leaned in toward him and he kissed me-just a peck and I looked at him in shock but gave a smile of approval, the rest of the night we were talking and what not. We've been talking every day outside/after work and text messaging. We compliment each other and flirt and say we should go get a drink sometime. He has a girlfriend. Which isn't cool, but there not getting a long and he's not happy. She's really mean and bitchy to him whenever i see her.We talked on the phone one night and he said he was sorry he didnt return my message that he was 'caught up in drama'. He said hes getting sick of the drama with his girlfriend. I never say anything good or bad im very neutral with it- i said im sorry that's tough I know what thats like i was there and now I do whats right for myself but its tricky and left it at that. He knows he can call me and stuff and he does. At work we turn on the professional lights. NO one knows we talk outside of work and thats good. When we kissed no one was around to see it either. I was a little shocked he did it in front of people though that really knocked me for a loop. Does he really really like me to the point he doesn't care? Or what? My questions is. we both obviously like each other and we both discussed that were good at being co-workers at work at friends outside. I think about him a lot. When he calls I get all excited and I told him he makes me smile and laugh and he said thats sweet that he likes talking to me too. I told him id like to chill sometime he said deffinatly. Etc. Etc. But i dont want to allow myself to get carried away if it's not going to go anywhere. Im a good respectable girl and Im not about to chase him down and try and steal him or anything. I know were co-workers and most people think its an iffy situation but Im the type of person that is excellent at seperating work from my personal life As it is an important skill to learn especially when you work with people that are all really close outside of work. I don't feel comfortable directly saying 'hey whats the deal' cause obviosuly I think he doesn't know whats going on yet. He is a great guy though and Id love to get to know him and hang out. I seriosuly had 'the best time' with him. I just want to know what to do to 'hang on' or 'get over it' I don't wanna waste my time either. Any suggestions? Thanks
You two sound like a good pair.
Problems are his girlfriend and your working relationship.
I'd say keep on doing what you are doing and see what develops. At some point you may need to tell him what's on your mind so he isn't kept guessing. It might spur him to get rid of his unkind girlfriend.
The working relationship doesn't seem to have been a problem so far and so it seems to me that you two can handle that situation.
So don't be too hesitant to be the active one in this relationship. He is in a more difficult situation to make a move.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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