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True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity. -- Helen Rowland

If I admit to the affair I do not know if my husband will become violent.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am in love with a man who is not my husband. My husband is currently in Iraq. We have been married for three years and have two children ages 1 and 2. For the last two years my husband has been physically and verbally abusive, possessive, and has been drinking too much. I have felt detatched from him for the last half year. I don't think I love him anymore and have asked him for a divorce. He is currently refusing saying we'll work it out. I don't think I want to and I'm affraid of what he will do if he found out I've been having an affair with his friend. The affair started a month and a half after he left. I can financially take care of myself, so that isn't a problem. I have fallen in love with his friend (who is single). I don't feel any guilt AND NIETHER DOES HE. He says he would still want to see me when my husband and I divorce. I know I am in a sticky situation and I want out of my marriage but my husband is refusing. What should I do? If I admit to the affair I do not know if my husband will become violent. Please help.

RomanceClass.com Advice
First off, don't admit you are having an affair... it can only lead to trouble.

Have you contacted a lawyer about this? Or perhaps you already know about any legal problems divorcing a serviceman. I am certainly not in a position to help you on that because I don't know anything about it.

I assume you or you and your husband have been to a marriage counsellor--but if not, you should definitely see a counsellor to talk with you and help you sort out your feelings and needs.

Your problem is too serious for me to give you anything but the vaguest and probably not the most useful advice.

Good luck! George

-- from George
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