He keeps telling me I should stop dragging my past into the present



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 26 years old and was in a relationship for 6 1/2 years. It was definately an abusive relationship (mentally, emotionally, physically)In the beginning things were good, as the years went on things got more stressful. I had to hide him from my father because he didnt aprove of us along with the rest of my family. I was close with his family in the beginnng I then moved in with him and left my family
( I had knowone) he would work at a nightclub as security and was always around woman. I would go down there to have drinks and he would get mad. Eventually I found out that he cheated on me with somegirl that was there that night. From what people told me it wasnt just that one time. Well PS we broke up. I am now in a new relationship with a wonderful man he is loving, caring, handsome, and I love him very much but the only problem is IM JEALOUS and scared that I might lose him. He owns his own security company and works at dozens of clubs, I know in my heart (I think) that he would never hurt me like that but it just brings back flasbacks and we have been arguing alot because of me. Please help me before it is too late. He keeps telling me I should stop dragging my past into the present, and I know I should but itjust hurts so much. My breakup with my ex caused me to go to therapy and I have been on antidepressants for over a year. I still cry and have nightmares. I just wat to be normal and happy with the man I love.




RomanceClass.com Advice
Face facts.

You had a relationship with a guy who hurt you bad. That was a while ago.

You need to forget him and the pain and concentrate on the really great guy you are with now who is so good to you. You don't want to lose him because of what happened before.

Are you still in love with the ex? If you are, why not take mercy on this new b/f and let him go? If you love the new b/f, or even like him, then take mercy on him and give your whole self to him and forget the past.

You are torturing yourself needlessly. You have a great guy who loves you... let the past be the past and look ahead to happy days!

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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