Should I tell her how I feel? She means the world to me and I don't want to lose her as a friend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
About seven months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I was devistated. She is in the Army so she doen't even live in the same state as me anymore. Her female friend Chris who is a Lesbian or thinks she is she has had boyfriends before, broke up with her girlfriend about the same time. Her girlfriend of two years did the breaking up. Chris was just as devistated as I was. We both watched out for each other in this hard time. We are best friends now. We tell each other things we would not tell anyone else. She says she doesn't understand what my wife was thinking. She also told me I was the only person she trusted. Last Friday Chris and I went out with a few of my friends. At the end of the night one of my buddies asked me if I liked Chris. I was puzzled from that question. So I asked him why he would ask such a question. He said that he knew her and I were bestfriends he has noticed a change in the way I act around her. He Said I would do anything for her and I'm always talking about her. Saturday Chris and I went to visit my parents and my Mom said the same thing. She also said she has not seen that look in my eyes in a long time. So Sunday I sat at home and she was on my mind all day. It's now thursday and I've only talked to her twice this week because everytime I talk to her I want to tell her. Chris want her and I to move in together in January. I need to do something before then. The other problem is she has a new girlfriend but she says there really aren't any feelings for this other girl. I think it's just for companionship. So, Should I tell her how I feel? She means the world to me and I don't want to lose her as a friend. Advice
This is the usual quandary when you start having feelings for a best friend. You want to tell her but don't want to risk your friendship.

My advice is to proceed very slowly. Pay attention to see if she is showing signs of liking you. Then one day when you are both feeling upbeat tell her you are "developing feelings" for her. Do this in person.

If she doesn't answer tell her that you will give her time to think about it and that you will ask her the next time you see her.

Preface this by telling her that your friendship is very important to you and that you don't want to jeopardize that.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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