I really don’t know how to handle this “friendship” any more
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I wrote about a week to two weeks ago regarding my ex who talked about his girlfriend a lot to me. I’m finding it difficult to be happy, civil, and his friend. I know he is playing mind games and it’s frustrating me. I tried not calling him and now he’s started calling me. I feel like he’s trying to prove something to me, but I’m not sure what. He’s told me that he’s having issue’s lately and he’s not trying to be a jerk and he doesn’t mean to aim any hostility towards me and sorry if he’s coming off that way.
Friday, he called me to tell me that he was fired. I saw that coming a mile away from the way he’s been acting lately. He told me that Wednesday that he was going to hang out with his girlfriend because that was her day off whether he had work or not. That was right after he told me he was hard up on cash because they weren’t scheduling him much any more. Well Friday he tells me that he was playing football that day instead. He tries to say that he didn’t know that he was scheduled that day, even though I know differently I don’t want to argue so I let it slide. He then goes to talk about how he was so sweaty from playing football, which seemed like he was trying to turn me on, but it only reminded me of his B.O. so that didn’t work to well. I just laughed and let it slide.
When we were together we used to do a lot of things over the phone to spend time together. Like watch movies and stuff like that. Right before we broke up I had practically begged him to pick up a video game to play with me. He came up with every excuse in the book not to get it. Well Friday he tells me he’s picked it up. He’s broke, has no job and bought this game. Now I feel like I’m reading way too much into this, but I can’t help it, that was something that was very important to me and he knew it. He only mentioned his girl friend one time in this call (which is amazing for him.)
He started talking about being tired and I knew our conversation was soon to end, and I wanted to be the one to end it. So I took the other line in my house and called myself. I said it was a call I was waiting for, and he wanted to know who it was. I told him it was none of his business and we hung up.
So, I call him back on Sunday, and it’s back to the same old same old with the girlfriend. How he got sick from kissing her and blah blah blah. Like I really needed to know this. Not to mention he wants to know where I’ve been going, and with who with. He down talks every guy friend I talk to, and seems to only want me to hang out with the girls. He seemed very cold which could have been because it was late and he was sick but I still felt uncomfortable. I felt like he was going out of his way to disagree with me, and tear at me. I have to admit I’m rather a sensitive person, so it could have just been me.
I really don’t know how to handle this “friendship” any more. It’s definitely too many head games here. I don’t know what this guy is thinking. One minute he’s decent the next it’s like he’s trying to defy me. I don’t know where to go with this at all. I’ve resorted to not talking to him at the moment but I honestly miss him.
Since he just lost his job, he probably feels stressed out and isn't behaving very well. But that is no reason for you to have to suffer too.
Do what you want to do. Keep contact with him if you think he will come around, or let him go if you don't think so.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com