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I'm afraid of him looking at other girls but at the same time i'm pushing him to do that



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Well there is so much to say, but the main thing is that i'm over jealous, possesive and all the bad things you can imagine. I've been having a relationship with a guy for almost two years and he was a very sweet person that was always showing me that he cared about me like no other guy ever did, i guess that's what made me fell in love with him, things were almost perfect. He used to be very jealous asking me to stop doing things and almost telling me what to wear and what not to, i was his first girlfriend. But suddenly things changed and i turn to be this crazy maniac. I believe he likes every girl he sees, or talks to, i'm always checking on him, on everything he does. He is with me almost the whole day, basically he only goes to his house to sleep, but then again i give him drama everyday about girls that he doesn't even care about. Tghere is no day without a fight, and not just one but many in a day, sometimes after we "fix" our problems and we kiss or something it seems to be fake, we had even got into physical fights cause i can't control myself. Our relationship is falling apart things are so wrong, but i know for sure that i love him, and i feel that he loves me too. What should i do? I'm afraid of him looking at other girls but at the same time i'm pushing him to do that. I need help an advice anything.




RomanceClass.com Advice
You have analyzed your problem very well.

But that doesn't help you solve it. My first and best advice is to see a school counselor or even a professional outside counselor. You probably can't afford an outside counselor but if you can....

Here is the advice I normally give on jealousy... but in your case I think you are so far into this that it won't help. But here it is anyway.

Treat jealous thoughts as an enemy that you have to destroy. Whenever a jealous thought comes into your mind tell it in no uncertain terms to go away that your boyfriend loves you. Do this 100 times (or in your case 1000 times) and eventually the jealous thoughts will give up trying to hurt you and go away.

Concerning fights. Neither of you wants to fight so find a signal you can make to each other that will interrupt the fight... the peace sign is not a bad one to use.

The last bit of advice is that if you can't solve this it would be better off to break up than to continue an abusive relationship. Fighting is abuse.

I wish you the best! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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