I am also aware she might very well have another b/f or two, but thats not what intimidates me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Please keep in mind that I am in the military, I've been living in Japan for over 2 years, and now it is my time to ship off to another remote location away from everyone, especially this girl, I came know her. I have known her for nearly a year and now I have less than 14 days before I officially depart and leave her. I would appreciate it greatly if you respond to this ASAP, atleast before I leave, in order to make it count with this girl and truly fulfill one last chance.
About my situation with this particular girl. I have surpassed the ease of having a long deep conversation with her. I am also aware she might very well have another b/f or two, but thats not what intimidates me. It doesn't phase me when it comes to what others might think. I am certainly willing to take chances. But sometimes the chances I risk are acted on impulse and I regret making that choice when all is said and done.
Recently, for the second time in a matter of months, I had another highly positive encounter with her. I came across her by unexpectedly offering to help her out by driving her to pick up her purse that she left at a friends house. We had another hour or so converation about all sorts of stuff. Eventually we took a walk with one another to go out for some food and sit down. Through that experience I was inspired to write a poem, which I normally do when it comes with certain situations the deal with the girls I am attracted to (have a crush on). When it came to the poem I decided not to give it to her unless I felt as if it was the right time.
Since we both live in the same building (dormitory) I developed some more courage to actually knock on her door and speak to her. Messed up thing is it was 1 to 2 in the morning, which might have been rude of me, but I am confident I didn't come off too strong or stalker-like when talking with her. While talking with her by her door I told her about the poem I wrote. Eventually I asked for her email address because I am simply more comfortable writing/expressing my thoughts and opinions on the internet (IMs or Emails). I told her I'll be sending her that poem, which I positively thought would allow my true feelings to get across.
It never fails because sadly enough every time I impulsively, almost instinctively write a romantic poem like this and share the girl my thoughts/feelings it ALWAYS turns out negative. Also when I finally share the girl my feelings with a poem/letter it turns out awkard and I CAN'T seem to back up my words through any significant actions. I lose all hope and my heart crumbles if no results come out of it. I know I shouldn't expect an instant success, but then again you would think that by now I would learn my lesson and not repeat the same mistake over and over again. Yet to me it doesn't seem like a mistake, it seems like a completely natural aspect of my romantic self to do. Or is all hope lost?
***My main question of confusion is now that I expressed all my feelings and thoughts through a romantic poem/story once again, how do build up my confidence in order to I successfully follow up this time around, as opposed to other times in the past, and at last get the girl??? :?: There may be nothing for me to gain any more since I already ruined my chances through impulsively sending this poem/letter to her. However, if there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel awaiting for me to at last fulfill my last bit of hope, just tell me what to do, how to do it, or simply guide me with some sort of attitude/self esteem adjustment. I will do whatever takes, even if I have to do it the last day I leave***
Thanks for Your Time,
The Hope-Full Romantic
You really can't do anything in 14 days to develop a romance with her.
Having dinner and sending the email were very nice but, as I understand it, she did not respond adequately to you. To test the waters, ask her out for dinner and bring her some flowers if she says yes. If she does say yes, then by all means pursue her during the time you have left--knowing that it still is unlikely that a full-blown romance will develop. The best you can hope for is some committment to some contact after you move on.
You mentioned some adjustment you might want to make. My suggestion is to not wait until you have two weeks left and try to strike up a relationship. It is fairly unrealist and just sets yourself up for a fall.
When you get to your new destination, look for women when you get there and try your luck right away so you have time to make something work and then have time to enjoy it before you have to move again.
Sorry you are in this situation! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com