Since that time, I've become very insecure and jealous

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together since July 2004. When he moved closer to me I told him I wouldn't be ok with him talking to his ex-girlfriend. In December 2004, I discovered that he had given her his new email address and new phone number and they had had contact. Up to that point, I trusted him 100%. Since that time, I've become very insecure and jealous. I've told him that what really bothered me was I had to discover it on my own and he wasn't up front with me about it. I realize they were friends long before anything else, but felt like he should have told me he was talking to her. (She lives in another state) Our relationship otherwise is wonderful, I just can't get past my jealousy and insecurities. How do I get past this and is it even possible??? Advice
Your first mistake was not allowing him to have contact with his ex.

Laying down an ultimatum is looking for trouble.

If your relationship is perfect except for this, count your lucky stars. Unfortunately the green-eyed monster has you in its grip. Fight against jealousy by telling the jealous thoughts to go away and not bother you. Tell them that you have a perfect relationship and you have no need to be jealous. Do this about 100 times and eventually the jealous thoughts will give up and stop troubling you.

Read the following tips for some more help:

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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