Hickeys and Kissing
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
hey i really love your site. it helps me out more than you will ever know. but i have got a problem. every time i give a hickey, it always goes away like 2 minutes later. it doesnt stay!. i dont know what im doing wrong. please help me.
and also i want to be the best kisser. i just feel like im not. i want help! please im begging you.
and also, is there any guys out there that will date a girl without wanting sex all the time?
First, on hickeys. A hickey is a bruise. Every human bruises differently. It could be the person you're kissing just doesn't bruise much. But it could also be you're not causing enough damage to cause a bruise. Try it out on your arm. Can you suck hard enough on your arm to cause a bruise? If so, how long does it take? You're like an artist, going for a certain effect. That effect is up to you. So figure out what combination works for you to cause the effect you wish. Most people who get hickeys wish they would vanish immediately, so it may be your target is very happy with things the way they are now :)
Being the best kisser all comes down to how the person you're kissing likes what you are doing. They are the ONLY person who can tell you what to change. Some people like wet kisses. Some people like dry kisses. Some like quiet kisses. Some like slobbery kisses. Some like slow kisses. Some like fierce kisses. I am serious. There is NO ONE PERFECT KISS. Every single person has their own perferences. You can have a "great" kiss and then kiss a boy who HATES it. So the way to be a perfect kisser for the GUY YOU'RE WITH is to kiss him, ask him what he likes, change to match that, kiss him some more, and so on. Make it into a fun game.
If you are dating a guy who pushes you for sex, drop him. I'm serious. A guy that pressures you into anything is just not ready to date. That's like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum because he wants the cookies in the cookie jar. I have many, many female friends, and we all between us have dated many, many guys. Yes, many of the guys would like sex. But most of them would NEVER pressure a girl into sex. The few who do, we ditch immediately and then warn each other about. A relationship is all about two people who are completely comfortable with each other, who trust each other and who care for each other. If the guy you're with is quite happy to push you into sex, who knows what else he would push you into - and who knows in what other ways he will trample your emotions to get what he wants! This is NOT a guy that is going to care about you and be there for you. It's a guy who will do whatever he wants to get what he wants. That's not a guy that most if any girls want to be anywhere near.
What I do find, is that sometimes a girl who feels a bit uncertain about herself tends to *go after* those sorts of guys without even realizing it. That is, say that you aren't quite sure that you're a pretty girl. So when a guy starts ogling you, you feel good about it and want to be around him. But a guy that would ogle you is the type to push you for sex because that's what he was after in the first place. So then you drop him, but then another guy ogles you and you date him and start the cycle all over again. And then you think all guys just want sex - but it's really that you are purposefully CHOOSING guys that are after sex. So sit back and think about that. Are you really dating guys who like YOU? Or are you somehow dating guys that like your BODY and don't really know YOU. If so, it might be time to find a guy that you are really good friends with, and ignore the oglers.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com