The Rumor Game

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i have this friend, its a girl, we talk in class and pass notes one time she asked me if iliked any one in class so i told her who i liked. the next day my crush asked my friend if i liked her and she said NO. so i told my friend to see if she liked me and my crushes friend comes up to me and says 'she dosent like you and if you dont stop bothering her shell get some one to beat you up.' i asked my crush and she said she never said that.

the next day my friend said that she would go out with me if she new me better. so i dont know if shes lieing or should i ask her if she said that and try to get to know her beter.

What should i do? Advice
The first thing to do is to STOP PASSING AROUND ROMANTIC INFORMATION!!! A relationship is about YOU and A GIRL. Period. You should not be telling 3rd parties, asking 3rd parties, bribing 3rd parties or coercing 3rd parties into any of this. The whole point of a relationship is that it is about communication, trust, honesty and privacy between two people. If it's about rumors and believing other people and blabbing things to the entire school, the relationship is pretty much going to fall apart before it begins.

So start again. You like a girl. So talk to HER. Don't go talking to her friends or enemies or distant relatives. Talk to HER. Find out what SHE is like, get to be friends with HER. All good relationships are based on friendships. They're based on trust. So build up that friendship and trust first.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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