I have both her and my honor to protect, and I will continue to do so
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, this is a follow-up to the "friendship bubble" question previously (Frendship section). Ok, so she and I went together to a Halloween festival we both had to work. Her booth was right across from mine. During the evening she was surrounded by 5 guys (ages 20-25) that were her students...so not the best thing to see but I understand that they were her students..20-something year old guys..but I have to be felxible. THEN one of her guy friends comes by and sits next to her and is talking to her and stuff. When he is finally ready to go, he gives her a two-armed hug and sways her back and forth..BIG MISTAKE PAL!!..So while I am seeing this across my booth, I try to remain calm and collected. THEN he moves his hand on her back in a gentle rub..THAT WAS STRIKE THREE! So, I told him (he doesnt speak english) in English that he had some nerve doing what he did and I made my point clear that I wasnt going allow that to happen in my presence. So he left without any words or incident. She said that I made her feel uncomfortable and that she has told me previously that we were not bf/gf. But from my point of view...we have a 10 year history together, I travled to a new country so we could try to be together...and I will NOT be dishonored and stand back and watch some guy make some moves on my girl (yes I know we are not bf/gf..but we are still affectionate with eachother...at times, anyways..)I explained to her that her pal crossed the "friends line" and I was not going to stand back. I told her that I understand and accept that she has guy friends, I am fine with that..I am not fine with when they give her a long hug and is rubbing her back!! (It was confrimed that this pal does want to be her boyfriend...so no, I was not imagining his intentions). Her last boyfriend did a number on her, and she is does not want any relationship...period. She wants to focus on her career and not be in a serious relationship. Like I said before, she loved me deeply in the past and I messed things up, now I have the same feelings for her but she is at a different point now...she did leave the possibility that her openess to a serious relationship between us can happen...but now she just needs to be single. Am I wrong in my reactions? How could I live with myself if I did not do anything? She may not want us to be together as a couple right now, but I have both her and my honor to protect, and I will continue to do so. I love her still...
You stepped a bit over the line, but it is understandable.
Ask yourself how long you are going to wait for this woman. You don't want to spend your youth pining for a romantic relationship that might never happen. At least think about it.
I suppose you are waiting for her to settle in her career, but how long will that take?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com