she tells me that maybe she is not a person worthy of having me.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am married to a wonderful gorgeous woman. She is divorced and has two beautiful daughters. When we decided to live together, She revealed to me her sexual past. She told me that after she got divorced, she went out with a man about 10 years older than her. She told me that during the time she decided to go out with this man, she was feeling alone and needed help both financially and emotionally. This guy helped her out, and out of gratitude -according to her- she went out with him. My wife told me that she went out with this guy for about 6 months, and when they were two months into the relationship, they started having sexual relationships. My wife also told me that she felt dirty every time they got done having sex, but yet she kept having sex with him. Even though I am a very open-minded person, and even though her first marriage does not bother me at all, the thought of her having sex with this older guy is eating me up alive. Sometimes this thought just comes across my mind when I least expect it, and to picture her taking her clotes off, getting ready for sex, and actually enjoying it is killing me inside. My wife also told me that in the 12 years that she was married to her first husband, she never experienced an orgasm, and the first time she had one was when she had sex with this other man. My wife swears that nobody has made her feel the way I do, both as a wife and as a woman in bed. I love my wife with all my heart, but to picture her with this older guy hurts me a lot. I would like some advice as in how to get over this thought. When I speak to my wife about my feelings concerning this issue, she gets a little frustrated and she tells me that maybe she is not a person worthy of having me. Advice
Make up your mind.

Is she worthy of your love or not?

My advice is to forget the past immediately and with no hesitation. It isn't fair to you or her for you to be thinking of the past. Do you expect to continue doing this for the next 20 years? Of course not! So give it up now. Tell her you are no longer going to worry about something so unimportant (which it is if you are honest with yourself).

If you can't deal with this yourself, see a counselor either just you or the both of you. This is important.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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