the guilt is killing me and I am going out of my mind

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Hi Iam a 38 years old woman, have been happily married for 14 years.We adored each other I had no desire what so ever to even look at another man. The only thing that was bothering me that I could not concieve, after 11 years of marriage I got pregnant with twins by Invitro, but unfortunately I lost them at 7 months, he was very supportive and understanding, I loved him more than ever at that time . It's been three years since then I tried 4 Invitro tries but no success, I gave up hope and got very depressed. Durimg the last four months I met one of my husband's friend they were not close friends, he would visit him once in a while by himself until the day this guy's parents were visiting so we went together to see his family and since that day when I first saw him I can't take him off my mind,I think about him day and night I make excuses to call him, my car was in the shop for a while so he gave me his second car, we invited him for dinner and the more I see him and talk to him the more I think about him, Ican't sleep at night thinking about him, I even think about him when my husband is making love to me, I imagine its him, I don't know how he feels about me. Those feelings are driving me crazy I still love my husband very much and I would never do anything to hurt him but I also love his friend I want to see him talk to him but I don't intend to cheat on my husband, I am very miserable and lonely right now and I cry a lot especially because my husband's job takes a lot of his time and he also travels.
Please advise me what to do because the guilt is killing me and I am going out of my mind Advice
Put this guy out of your mind.

Stop any contact with him and focus on your husband.

As you suggest, you may be interested in this friend because you are unable to conceive with your husband and you may be unconsciously think that you could with this friend.

It isn't unusual for a woman your age to fall in love with an outsider, but if you truly love your husband, fight it with all your might. Imagining him as a lover is not unusual either. The key is to put him out of your mind and focus on your husband. Lack of contact with this guy should help put him out of your mind. Go in that direction.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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