In sum, my fiancee has told me that his family is his number one priority

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my fiancee for 2 years. We are now engaged and planning to get married in 10 mnths. The problem is that he has an older brother with him that can't get his live together. My fiancee allows his brother to live with him for free and my fiancee also pays all of the bills. Recently, we have been getting into more fights because I do not want his brother living with us when we get married. He says that he doesn't want that either, but he doesn't have any money and he's not going to kick him out. In sum, my fiancee has told me that his family is his number one priority and I have to accept that. I totally respect that but I want to feel important too! He tells me loves me and wants to marry me, but I must accept his brother living there too. Should I end this relationship? or should I continue a relationship with him and his brother? Advice
Only you can figure this one out.
Think about your bottom line. Can you stomach living with his brother or not? If you can answer that question then you have the answer.

First try the obvious: is there nobody else in the family who can take this brother in? Perhaps a deal could be struck that he lives one place for three months, then another place for three months... etc. You would only have him for three months a year.

Can your b/f afford to rent a one room apt somewhere and supply the groceries, etc. This would get the brother out of the house. Even a room at a YMCA might work out.

Encourage the brother to find some roommates to share an apartment... your b/f would still have to pay, but perhaps if you are married you will have more money and can afford it.

Try to think up other ideas, good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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