From Friend to Boyfriend-Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I need some advice on where to go from here. Here is my story. I met this girl at school about 9mo ago. We are both 21 she has had many past relationships and I have not. I began talking to her and calling her and I found out that she told some people I called her to much so I stopped. I didn't talk to her for about a month and then on my birthday she called me. Now she calls me twice a day.

I really like this girl. She is on spring break and I miss her all I can think about is her. I have told her I like her but I don't think she thinks I am serious. I have taken her out, bought her a birthday gift, done various nice things for her, and I even drove her to her friends to go on spring break which is 3hrs away from me just to be nice. I don't do it just to be nice I do it because I like to spend anytime I can with her. I think I have shown her that I care for her and that I like her but am I wrong??

I think I might be wrong because I spoke to her recently while she is on break with her friends and she asked me "why are you so nice to me?". I was very irritated when I heard this because I have been completely obvious not to mention I even told her I like her. All I could tell her when she asked me that was "think about it and let me know what you come up with." I have built an amazing friendship with her but like her soo much more. I do not want to lose her as a friend but I am afraid if I come out and say everything I feel she will not want to talk to me anymore or I will scare her away.

I know this question is long but I had to explain the situation. I can appreciate just being friends but I can't keep what I feel bottled up much longer it hurts to much. I thought of saying "Listen I really care for you. I think we are great friends and I don't want to lose that but I had to let you know that I like you much more and I hope this does not scare you away or damage our friendship." or something like that. Any advice you can give would be helpful. Thanx Advice
I have a how-to on how to go from friend to boyfriend-girlfriend here -

In essence you're doing well and have to just keep moving things along. I don't think when she asked you "why are you nice to me" that she was saying she didn't know you liked her. I think it's sort of obvious that you like her. I think she was saying, "I don't think I deserve this kind of fondness." Most people are insecure and if you're sitting there doing things for her and paying attention to her, she probably has a strange sense of "why would he do these things for me? I'm not special enough to warrant this ..."

Anyway, keep going to movies with her, dinner with her, and do the hugs hello and goodbye and get closer as you go. That's the best way to move closer, by stages.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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