Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Well im a forty year old successful business who was married for 20 years which ended five years ago after she was caught using drugs and cheating with one of my best friends. After I had a met a younger girl in her early twenties, we dated for three month and broke-up. She helped me move-on but I took the break-up bad. Very soon after I met another even younger girl who helped me over come my last g/f and I fell in love with her and she moved in and we were together for 3 1/2 years. We had many ups-and-downs one of which was she and her mother who we met her through lied about her age. She was only eighteen not twenty-one as they told me. Of course i went nutz when i found-out but i loved her by then and i didnt break-up with her.She always drank way to much and most of our fights were over drinking. After i found-out she wasn't 21 i wouldn't let her drink. When she turned twenty she wanted to go out and drink too much and we began to get into arguments. One night she stayed out all night cause she was too drunk and passed out, "over a friends" house. I was pissed and kick her out thinking she had created. She started sheing someone else who didnt care how much she drank. She would tell me they were just friends and she still loved me. For the next three month we saw each other almost every other day having sex and talking about working things out. Then she started coming around maybe once or twice a week and she was going through alot of changes and she lied about where she was staying and i found-out she was living with this guy. He began to beat her and they were fighting alot and she would come back and we would talk and have sex but she was still telling me she was just friends with this guy. Anyway in Dec.23, 2004 she found out she was pregnent I was told by her step-father but she lied to me saying she was not. We sleep with each other until Dec.12, 2004 and I felt like it was mine, so i made her mom gether to call me or i would tell her new man we had still been seeing each other. She got really mad and we didnt speek again until last week eight months later. She called a couple times (one at 2:00 am that i didn't answer) still wouldn't answer the question about the baby. Why would she continue to lie about the baby and how should i handle myself? Why would'nt she just tell me its his and put a end to this? We didn't really end thing right and I still love her very much. Thank you for your help.... Advice
The only way to find out about the baby is to wait until it is born and do a DNA test.

But the more important thing is your love for her and how she reacts to it.

So far it doesn't sound like she has made you a priority in her life.

You need to make friends with her again with no strings attached. Just be there for her to talk to and share feelings with. You can let her know that you love her but don't dwell on it or your relationship. That might turn her off.

After several months she may find herself attracted to you again and come back to you.

I hope so!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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