Does she Love Me?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Ok There is this girl and i love her so much but i dont think she loves me. She comes to my house and she stays there for hours like 5 hours at a time and when shes here i feel so good inside. Well while shes here we kiss and make out a little but i dont think she loves me so i have two questions.

1. Do you think she does love me but she just has a hard time showing it?
2. Is there a way i can make her love me?

please e-mail me back as soon as you can cuz this girl is really special to me and i want her to love me as much as i love her. Advice
Obviously this girl likes you a great deal if she spends so many hours with you a day and is kissing you. I think you're hung up on the word "love" and think that your definition is the only one. You need to realize that every single person feels differently about love. Some people love by shouting it out to the rooftops. Other people love by quietly caring for their partner. Some people fall in and out of love every week. Other people will ONLY ever say they love you right before they say "and I want you to marry me". So if you're willing to love her just when you're kissing, and not when you're marrying, even though you feel your love is 'super special' you need to realize there are people out there who think love is even *more* special than that - and shouldn't be given away to girls you kiss. It's all a matter of perspective.

So take a step back. This girl really likes you and is already showing it to you. What *more* do you want out of her? Why do you think she's not showing it to you "enough"? Love isn't about proving things. It's about accepting and caring. It sounds like she's already doing all of that.

Love is NEVER about making someone do something. Never, ever, ever. It is about accepting each other for what you are right now. If you are thinking of forcing or tricking her to change, that's not love. If you really loved her, you would accept that she is the way she is, she shows her affection the way that she does, and that's part of her personality. If it's not enough for you - if you want someone that is more clingy or more vocal or whatever - then you need to find someone that is better suited to you. To try to force HER into your "ideal woman mold" is not healthy, and it's not what love is about.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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