Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey, George, it's me (again). Well, I'm kinda having a problem. But first, let me just give you a heads up on the situation.
In the middle of July, I lifeguarded at a water park. I said hi to a lot of girls and asked how they were and so on. I even talked to my fellow female lifeguards a lot, and girls in other departments! Whoa!! Some people I knew, some I didn't. This girl asked me to play in the park, but I couldn't and the next day, she went back to Ohio. Crusher!! Wish me congratulations on the big steps forward.
Now, the problem. I'm now a senior at my high school, which started on the 2nd. My shyness came RIGHT BACK!!!! The thing is, I just seem to think that every single girl is already taken! Like, I see this girl, I think, "Taken." I think the same for every girl. I'm really sorry, but I cannot help thinking this way. It is really crushing me to the point of pending depression. Please, I really don't just want to give up!!!! I do tell myself to say hi to girls or, at least, smile, but nothing comes out. It just all seems too hard! The other thing: my school has almost 2000 kids!! IMO, it is hard to find girls that would even want to be my friends at all!
Just so you know, I am very good-looking. I know looks aren't important, but they are for my confidence and self-esteem. I remember you telling me to join clubs, but none interest me. I can't join church youth groups becuase I'm Jewish. Or sports, I play lots of sports, but only by myself. Just today, I watched a JV football game and a girls volleyball game, but I got bored pretty, so now I'm at home.
I really want you to listen to me now. This Friday, I have the Homecoming Dance from 7-10 PM. I would really be grateful if you, Jenn, could give me advice about what to do about girls at this dance, in terms of what to say, how to act, whatever. Jenn, I would like a girl's point of view so I ask you to please answer this question. If you're not available, George, you may answer this. If you don't mind, maybe you could give me advice on how to meet girls in general, but you don't have to.
Like I said before, I don't wanna give up!!!! I know, it's only September. I have till June.
Please, you HAVE to help me!! Don't mean to sound so harsh.
Thank you SOOOO much!!!! I just want to cry right now. (sob)
Jenn is not available.
Since there are 2,000 kids at your school (same size as my school was) then there about 1,000 girls and probably 250-500 are looking for dates. There are tons of girls who are available. It is up to you to find them.
One way is to ask your friends about girls without boyfriends. Another way is to do what you did this summer. Talk to every girl you can. Learn their names and say his using their name and give them a big smile. Do this with every girl you know. At first it may seem weird and some girls may not know how to handle it and not say hi. But keep at it until you are a pro.
At the dance, either join in communal dancing or look for girls who are on the sidelines and not dancing. They are dying to dance so ask as many as you want to dance with you. If you find one you especially like ask her to dance as many times as you can. Get ready to have some conversation... like what did you do this summer. This will give you a chance to mention you were a life-guard (girls like life-guards). After dancing with a girl, walk her back to where she was standing, say thanks, and walk away... unless you want to dance again.
Here are some tips about dating: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23683
Check them out.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com