But for the last three years, I still think about "J".
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I broke up with my boyfriend after five years for various reasons, and went out with a mutual friend of ours who I have always had "more than friends feeling" towards. We spent as much time as possible as we could with each other while he was on leave from the army, and we stayed in contact over the phone. I started really missing my ex and thought I made a mistake. Long story short, my ex "S" and I got back together and I broke up with "J".
"S" and I had a bunch of ups and down for nine months and broke up again and finally got back together and we stayed together ever since. It's been eight years now and we have a child together. Our relationship is great. he's a good dad and we get along well.
But for the last three years, I still think about "J". I miss him more as time goes on. We haven't kept in contact with each other because of "S" (remember, they WERE friends. He feels "J" betrayed him. I left "S" so I could be with "J"). I think about him every hour, in my dreams... I think I am still in love with him. He is out of the army and moved back into town a little less than a year ago. I feel like I'm going crazy inside. No one knows how I feel but me. "S" knows I still care about "J", but he doesn't know the extent of it. I love "S" and I love our family. But I just can't shake my feelings for "J". Please help.
Try this: everytime you think of "J" immediately think of something very unpleasant. After doing this 100 times the thoughts of "J" will start to diminish. Keep training your mind and eventually you won't think of him at all.
If that doesn't work or if you don't want to try it, please see a counselor as soon as possible to help you figure out your problem.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com