Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female

Me and my Boyfriend have been going out for about 3 and half years. We have been living together for a little less the 2 years. We havenít been getting along for about 9 months and Iíve finally had enough, I want to break up with him, and I feel that there is no hope of us going back to being a happy couple. I have tried to break up with him several times, but he either threatens to commit suicide, or says that he cant afford to live on his own, and has no were else to go, and therefore Iím making him homeless. I give him suggestions of places he can stay of a while, tell him to look in the newspaper for people looking for roommates, or to get a second job. He says I am over simplifying the problem, and its not that easy. I feel like he is going insane, or is only saying this to make me stay out of guilt. My mom says that he not normal and that if he is going to kill himself or become homeless then it would have happened wether I was in the picter or not, and I should just leve him. I feel so bad doing that, but I also feel like heís 30 years old, he should be responsible enough to know how to take care of himself. I have tried to get him to go to consolers, but he wont go! I donít know if I can live with myself knowing that I caused someone to kill themselves or to become homeless, but I donít want to date this person anymore! What should I do? Advice
You have to think of yourself first. You are being dragged down by someone who seems incapable of taking care of himself.

Make your plans to leave him, let him know that is what you are going to do.
He will make it somehow, but if he talks seriously about suicide then call 1-800-SUICIDE and ask them for advice. If things are really serious call 911.

You can't live the rest of your life like this. If you can afford it, give him enough money to keep him going for a while. This will get rid of his complaint about living on the street.

You have done everything you can to help him, it is time for him to help himself -- at age 30!

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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