He doesnít understand when I say we should be just friends
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I meet this boy about 8 months ago. My best friend introduced us up and the first couple of weeks were fine. I was into him and he was into me. Then he started to get a little to into me and became what you can call a bug-a-boo. He called me all the time. I looked at my phone review after a couple of weeks and it showed that he called more then 100 times. He acted like he had to have me or the world wouldnít turn. This my seem strange that I am not attracted to a boy that cares for me so much but what he was doing was a turn off. I am the type that likes for a guy to kind of play hard to get. It makes me want a boy that much more if I have to work to get him. This boy is basically throwing himself at me, like he is desperate for a girlfriend or something. I talked to him about the way he was acting and told him to back off a little and stop trying so hard but all he says is that he canít help that he likes me a lot and blah blah blah.
It is clear that I donít want to be with him but he seriously thinks that I am his girlfriend. I have no clue were he got that from. His friends even try to tell him that I donít like him like that but he just brushes them off. I would understand his actions if I was leading him on but I am not. In fact, he is leading himself on. Even with that, I do not like to hurt anyone at all in anyway. I would rather feel the pain then for someone else to. Help me please. I need to let him know that I do not like him in that way and nothing is going on between us but I donít know how. I donít want to hurt him but I donít want to keep on with this. I know I need to tell him but I donít know how or what to say without hurting his feelings or our friendship because he is the sensitive type. What should I say? When should I say it? He doesnít understand when I say we should be just friends but I need to get it through to him some way. HELP PLEASE!!!
How's this for an idea: start calling him Friend Alfred (or whatever his name is). This should begin to get the idea through to him that you consider him a friend and nothing more.
Mention other boys and that you are considering dating one of them. He should get the message from that.
Tell him how much you value his friendship and that it is so much easier to be a friend rather than a bf/gf. That should tell him something.
If he still doesn't get the message, you will be doing him a favor and saving him from deeper hurt if you just plain out tell him how you feel.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com