She's On the Rebound

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have never asked for help on a relasionship before, but this one I would really like to progess with.

I have been best friends with this girl for 8 years. The first four years were the best and I can actually say that we have NEVER had an argument. I loved being with her, because when we were together nothing else seemed to matter.

She started to date some guy at work and it lasted four years. During that time I just stayed away because I did not want to mess up anything for her. We didn't talk hardly at all for those four years, except when I came home from school on the holidays.

Anyways, she breaks up with him and an hour later she calls me out of the blue. You must realize I haven't really had a conversation with her in four years and we ended up talking for about 4 hours on the phone. It was like we had never missed four years. I have loved this girl for as long as I have known her. I don't want to scare her away by telling her, but I don't want her to start dating someone else. Should I tell her how I feel, after a few months of her getting over her exboyfriend, or just not tell her at all and see what happens? Advice
You definitely have a valid concern here. Rebounds are VERY dangerous to date in. You need to let her get through her rebound period, but you also need to be very much there with her during it so she doesn't run off with someone else when she's ready to start dating.

So I wouldn't tell her how you feel verbally. It'll be obvious in the time you spend with her, are there for her and so on. Make sure you're around to talk with her, listen to her, take her to dinner and so on as friends. But give her time to get through her breakup after that long a period of time. When she is really over him and ready, you will be right there for her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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