I love him with all my heart, but how can i let the past go
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi love experts!!
I have been in a three year relationship, but the most time we have been together with out breaking up have been a year. The other times I broke up with him is because I was really scare since this has been a new experience. He is my first serious boyfriend. At the beginning of last year I broke up with him and after two months he decided to have "sex" with his ex-roomate. He says that it was not important at all, that it was just pure sex. He says he felt lonely due to the fact that he tought I just didnt want to be with him. I know that I ignore him alot but I told him that I was really scare. I was scare of having to face my family. I am 22 years old and he is 30 and I am in college while he is a contruction painter. He was married before and has a 10 year old girl. It was a lot for him to be my first boyfriend, but I faced it and everything is working out fine. The problem is that I can not trust him. I am extremely jelous. I still feel a lot of hate and pain towards him for having sex with his roomate. He swears that he did not have anything with her while we were going out but who can guarantee that. He says that I have to leave that on the past if we want this to really work but sometimes little things brings back the memory. He is extremely sweet, caring and everyone says that I have been bless with the best boyfriend anybody can have but I still dont trust him. I feel that everything he says is a lie and it may be all in my head. I am scare that if we were to break up for a small fight he may do the same thing again. I love him with all my heart and I want him to be the first and only men in my life, but how can i let the past go. Please Help me!!!
You have to decide whether he is worth trusting.
Have long sincere honest talks with him about this and explain that you worry that he will repeat what he did before (which was definitely bad even if you were broken up at the time).
If you decide to go on with him you have to work on trusting him and to not be jealous. One way to do this is to fight against the jealous feelings like they were your enemy (and they are). When they spring up in your mind tell them to go away, that your boyfriend loves you, and you trust him. After the jealous feelings here this 100 times, they will give up and leave you alones.
Hope things work out for you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com