He says he just doesn't want a relationship right now with ANYONE
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We were dating/together for almost a year. Ever since, we have been seeing eachother as "dating" and "best friends" BUT are not back together. We broke up because we began to grow apart and started going out with our friends (separately) and MAINLY seeing eachother in bed. (we would stay at eachothers houses each night) We both became unhappy with the relationship but he never mentioned anything until the night we broke up.
He then left me for a while wondering what was going to be? He didn't give me any answers except that we are "on a break." Finally, 4 days later we met up and talked about everything. We both realized that we were a little unhappy, but I wanted to try to reconcile and talk about everything, yet he didn't. So, we left eachother for 3 more days and talked then... That is when we decided that we wanted to just be "dating" since we are very passionate towards eachother, care VERY deeply for eachother, have love for eachother and especially get along great as friends. we've gone on dates, gone to parties, a wedding, out to eat with my parents... we just don't see eachother as often. (its at least twice a week)
He says he just doesn't want a relationship right now with ANYONE. I do ask him if he's seeing anyone else and him the same with me. (We bothe are not) However I've gone to dinner with another guy (totally harmless) and I told him about it. He did get a weird look on his face, but said that dinner is fine... it can be a chance to get to know other people (see others) because he and I are just "dating". We have great conversations and look forward to seeing eachother and when we get together we just click as friends while still keeping the sexual and "dating" part. He also says there is a chance for us, not soon, but possibly in the future. (I feel the same) And he is looking for that great friend in me since we never really had a friendship before and just jumped into the relationship. Ever since the breakup I feel closer to him and more excited about spending time with him and I can see the same in his face and actions.
I want to know if things will continue to escalate with us. Does it seem like he loves me? I tell him often how much he means to me and I will be there for him whenever he needs me. I want to see him more often, but I don't want to push him into more if he doesn't want it. He doesn't call me much unless to make plans or usually the day before a date to talk about what we will do. (I did most of the calling in the relationship.. but I still wish he would call more often)
I really just don't want to get hurt... Tell me what you think.
Part of life is hurting. So taking that risk is part of the deal.
You two sound like you are well on the way to coming back together again. But don't push it because that's not what he wants right now. Instead just go with the flow and see where it leads.
My view on "breaks" is that usually they are a bad sign and spell doom for the relationship, however in this case I don't get that feeling.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com