she was still involved with a man she had been seeing since before we got together

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been with my girlfriend for just over 10 months. 5 months into our relationship I found out that she was still involved with a man she had been seeing since before we got together. Our relationship has always been great. She treats me very well, is caring, affectionate and generous. I have never had any doubt in my mind that she loves me. When I found out she explained that although they had no real commitment to one another, she did not know how to end their relationship. After alot of soul searching, we decided to try and work things out.

I fully trust that she has not seen him or anyone else since then. It has been over 5 months now and I feel like I need to let it go, but she still talks to him and I can't stand it. He knows about me and our relationship and has even seen pictures of us together. She has told him that she is happy with me and will not go back to him except as a friend. The problem is that she has now admitted to me that he is very open about wanting their relationship to resume. I can't understand why she is willing to put up with his behavior. He keeps pressuring her to go see him. Just this week she told me that she does not want him and does not want to see him but she feels like he will not leave her alone until she goes and he sees that nothing will happen. I am not sure what to believe. It has been a long time since she has given me any reason to not trust her but this just doesn't seem right to me. Please help. Advice
It is time for you to make it clear to her that you do not feel comfortable with her seeing/contacting her ex.

There is no reason for her to have contact with him except that she has a sensitive heart. Tell her that she needs to have sensitivity to you first.

Tell her also that her behavior is beginning to make you wonder about trust issues.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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