I am scared it may push him away again
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am young and have only been in one real relationship. He was my first love and I didnít know that much about relationships. We didnít last because we just couldnít work things out and that really crushed my heart to the point that I was constantly crying and depressed. Now I am very picky about boys that I talk to because I instantly compare them to my ex. I donít do it on purpose, but my heart figures that I will not be happy if they donít equal up to him.
Then I meet this guy. We just started talking unexpectedly. I talked to him for about a week then he just stopped calling. During that week, we talked a lot and I really liked him so I didnít see why he would just cut me off. I just figured that I came on to strong. It was around Valentine and I guess I just got a little too excited because I finally meet someone I liked. Then like two months later, he called one night and we stayed on the phone all night talking about anything and everything. That happened like 3 times a week for a couple of months. We got really close, I mean close enough to tell each other our deepest darkest secrets. We also play around a lot like we are a couple, just to spice up the conversation. I donít know about him but I wish it were real.
I want to be with him so bad. Just hearing his name excites me. My heart smiles every time I look into his eyes. When he calls me I stop everything just to hear his voice. He is perfect and my feelings are getting stronger, so one night I brought up the topic of us being together seriously and he told me he would ask me but he doesnít want a girlfriend right now. I havenít brought it up again, but it has been about 2 months since we talked about it. I pray every night that one day we will be together. I am just so scared that my heart will get broken again. I am so confused and I donít know what to do. I donít want to tell him how I feel about him because I might feel more for him then he feels for me and I am scared it may push him away again. Should I just wait and keep praying that he will ask me to be his girlfriend? Should I just keep him as a friend and move on (by the way, there is not any other guy on this earth that I want to be with more than him)? Should I tell him how I feel and risk that awkwardness? And if I should tell him, what should I say? How will I start it off? How do I know if he is sincere about me or he is just trying to be nice to a friend? I want to be with him so bad but I donít know what to do. HELP PLEASE!!!
You need to find a way to tell him how you feel without scaring him.
This isn't an easy thing to do. One way that is fairly non-threatening is to tell him that you are developing feelings for him. If he doesn't answer clearly, then ask him how he feels about you.
If he is still stand-offish then you really need to think about moving on. You deserve to have a boyfriend who really cares about you more than friend.
On the other hand, you could keep things as they are and see if anything devleops.
It's hard to say which is the right way to go. My advice is to trust him with your feelings.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com