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We will be arguing, and then it turns into screaming



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend of over two years just recently got married. He is in the service and I moved out of state to be with him. I know that things are higher on the stress level, concidering we've just moved in together,and I have yet to find a job and meet new friends... However, these past few days have been terrible. We've been having severe fights and they rarely have a serious purpse. The worst thing is, the fights get so bad I find myself threatening to leave him and go home... I know this is imature of me, because I'd be taking the easy way out from our problems. I think what makes this situation so bad is that these fights are all over nothing. We will be arguing, and then it turns into screaming, and then he'll end up saying something really mean, or call me a name and I get so mad. And Lately I've even thrown things at him... (my flip-flops,hair straightener...) Lucky nothing has hit him to physically hurt him. I guess I'm just bothered because this behavior is not me at all.. And he is not normally a mean guy either.. I know we both love eachother so much... and we do have really great moments, but when we fight, its like we are able to bring out the worst in eachother... Basically, I'm just asking for the best advice because I would really like to fix and save our problems... I've even considered going to counseling, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice on line... Thank you for your help, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this.




RomanceClass.com Advice
A lot of arguing and screaming points to a lot of stress and two rather immature people.

Since you asked for advice I will give it to you. You must stop fighting with him immediately. You must do it honestly and with love--not just fake it. Say "I hear what you are saying." This means you understand what he is saying but that you don't necessarily agree with it.

Be sure to let him know that you are going to do this because you love him so much and you don't want fighting to disrupt your relationship. Talk about the future and how things will be better when you get a job. (They will)

If this doesn't work then by all means do get counseling... it could do a world of good for you.

Good luck!
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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