the only times we fight you probably already know is when i get jealous

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My names A* I'm actually 16, young for having a jealous problem I know! Well here i go my boyfriend is 18 yrs old we are 2 years apart and well we have been going out for 2 years now and its been absolutly perfect! Meaning his a sweetheart but the only times we fight you probably already know is when i get jealous. And a incident happened i saw his ex-girlfriend whom his not good friends with but enough to talk to her when we go up to the cottage anyways back to the story i saw her and she was absolutly gorgeous she's the same age as my bf 18. Anyways ever since that moment i couldnt stop thinking about her and getting upset and sick to my stomact and picking fights with him i dont know if it could be because she brkoe up with him or because he was in love with her or had strong feelings for her? Or maybe im scared he'll bump into her and like her again n they go back out, she by the wya has a boyfriend of 3 yrs..i always ask my boyfriend, on how "do you think she pretty" ,"how long were u both going out!?" " how did u guys break up" and i just coudlnt believe , litsen to be honest im not some stuck up teenage girl but im not ugly im really not ive modeled and been excepted for swimsuit ect witch i never continued no confidance, its just for the past 2 yrs..well 1 yr and a couple of months a little after being with him my self respect totally lowered. After seeing her i couldnt believe it for the past month ive had sleeping problems i cant even sleep its 2:45am and i still cant sleep Iam so scared of having horrible dreams. I can't talk to my friends neither my bf, 1st my bf gets mad cuz he thinks he rediculous on how much i talk about his x, or how jealous i am. And well for my friends, they just always say dont worry about it he wouldnt ever do anything its been 2 yrs he loves u..and your gorgeous but then again thoses r friends! You can tell by me writting to you i have a lot to say! Excuse me for this long story, anyways i need some kind of help i have a great boyfriend but cant seem to be happy when im with him thinking im not good enough for him thinking down of myself, like imm not pretty enough?!! i crazy!? All i want is to stop being such a jealous being able when he goes out not to have this pain in my heart..not being able to sleep thinking of the worse senarios that could accure! This is sad, i went in his email ..check her e-mail addresse and check her website, of her comparing me to sad i know i am scared! cuz this is not healtly i just cant stop. I need help. And im not gonna go to some phsycologist either. Please i really need help, i just want to be happy!! Thank's so much for your time Advice
You need far more help that I can give you.

True love includes infinite trust in your loved one. You don't trust your boyfriend therefor you don't love him. That sounds harsh, but it is really true. Think about how much you love your boyfriend and how much you trust him.
You are thinking about yourself too much in your worries.

Jealousy is a very difficult emotion to deal with and requires a lot of self-esteeem and strength to fight it off. Think of jealousy itself as an enemy and fight it with all you have.

It's ok to talk about it with your boyfriend so long as your discussion is loving and not an argument or an accusation.

We have tips on how to deal with jealousy at:

But, as I said, you need more help, and yes that means a psychologist. There is nothing threatening about a psychologist. They are trained and have experience with all kinds of human emotional problems.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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