I have never dealt with such an immature situation like this since grade school
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay I wrote yesterday about how my ex lied to me about dating that girl. Well I found out today he also ditched plans with me that day to go on a date with her (he had planned it days ahead of time, but told me that it was a spontaneous thing). He has been lying to me a lot.
Well...he wont answer his phone when I call and he blocked me on the internet. So I couldnt talk to him like your advice was. I write him emails and he doesnt write back. I went on my friends msn to talk calmly to him and he wont write back. He didnt show up to my birthday today which he promised he was coming to. He won't talk to me at all, and this is the meanest thing anyone has ever done to me. Lately he was being so nice to me, always saying that we are "bestest friends" (our term for absolute best friend in the world, nobody else comes b4 them, etc) and always saying he's here for me no matter what, etc. Now he's being like this, and it has seriously broken my heart more than the breakup did.
I now am not sure whether I just want to end the friendship altogether, even though I cant imagine him not being in my life cuz even while we were dating we always promised that even if we broke up we would always be there for eachother, love eachother, stay best friends, etc. And now this hurts more than anything, I have been crying nonstop for the past 2 days and cant eat much or sleep, and I cant even get any closure on why he is doing this. I'm not sure if ending the friendship will end up in me hurting more or less...but even if I do I can't even get any closure, all I want to do is talk it out with him and at least if we cant keep being friends end on good terms. But he is almost 21 and he is acting like he is 5 years old. I have never dealt with such an immature situation like this since grade school. He refuses to talk to me whatsoever, without even saying why. I even tried saying sorry I yelled and I just want to talk it over calmly, and said "please please bestest friend??" and talking about how much his friendship means to me over my friends internet and he still would say nothing.
I never, ever thought he of all people would be pulling stuff like this. I don't even know what to do with myself right now I've never been so hurt or upset and he was my best friend in the world, and I am going crazy with the fact that he wont even have contact with me right now. I'm having a lot of personal problems too, like I was sexually assaulted on my actual birthday last week when I was drinking and a guy took advantage of me and was pretty much halfway to raping me before I could get away (I was naive and went and hung out alone with this guy at his house not thinking anything of it)...and my ex was helping me through it all saying he was here for me and saying how I am such a wonderful person and dont deserve that and wanting to go beat up the guy. My uncle just died of cancer too, and I have not been getting along with my parents. With the breakup happening not too long ago on top of it, things were really wearing me down, but my ex was always saying how he was there for me to help me through it all, talking to me about it for hours, and it always made me feel better knowing I had a best friend to turn to like him. But now he is doing this and it hurts me more than anything has.
I really just don't know what to do. My friends say forget about him and ignore him for good, because he just keeps walking all over me and lying to me and treating me badly, because he can always get away with it and then treat me nicely and ill come back. They all hate him. But it is just too hard for me. He was always the person I leaned on, always got me through everything. And I cant stop loving him either. What do I do?? Keep trying to get through to him?? Or finally walk away??
My advice is that since your efforts have been unsuccessful, that you try walking away from him and see if that make a difference to him.
You can always go back to trying if you ever want to.
Don't expect closure because boys tend to break up without giving a reason. This is probably due to their immaturity in general.
One last thing to try is to confront him personally and try to get closure that way. That isn't an easy thing to do.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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