Recently me and my girlfriend argue a lot!
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hello... Im 19 from London England. The girl is question is 18 from New York USA.
We've been "dating" since december, started out as an online chat... turned into Phone conversations. We talk EVERDAY, over the phone. She has plans to come and study over here in the UK. which is how we will MEET for real. After that we will see what happens.
Anyway...
Recently me and my girlfriend argue a lot! it can be about simple things. Like the most recent one was about how i didnt like how we seem to disagree on everything, for example, me and her are into two type of music, im into rock and shes into hip hop, i dont generally like hip hop and have told her about it and she dont mind... which is ok. But sometimes i get annoyed when i hear her listen to it and comment on a song and we get upset. SO recently i decided to TRY and find some hip hop songs i ACTUALLY LIKE. when i told her which they were, she DONT like them. When she finds rocks songs she likes. I DONT LIKE THEM. and we just argue abouts whats better etc.
This is a silly argument, but it was the most recent.
To be honnest i wish she was more like me, more into my interests... And i get upset at her when she disagrees on things i like. Politics, culture, music, film anything...
Also, sometimes i feel jealous of her guy friends... i feel like as if they know too much about her etc... i dunno what to do. Maybe im paranoid? I feel like she hides things from me...
Please help me!
RomanceClass.com Advice
It sounds like you two are accentuating the negative and eliminating the positive. But you are supposed to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
Quit the minor arguments... they are no good for either of you. And, the arguments are about subjects you should never argue about... what one person likes against what the other likes. In fact this is so common the Romans had a Latin phrase for it: "De gustibus non est disputandum." Which means there is no arguing about taste.
So she likes hip hop and you like rock... at least you both like popular music... it isn't like she's into classical and you are into salsa. And the other topics, it sounds like you both are just looking for something to fight about and since I'm only hearing your side of it my opinion is that it is you who is more into fighting than she is.
Regarding the jealousy... this is typical with long-distance romances and is something you just have to learn to deal with. Without trust you are doomed.
Hope some of this helps!
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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