After that night he had a huge talk with me and told me how he missed having me as a friend etc
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
All right so I'll give you a little background about my situation that I'm in here. Basically I fell for my best guy friend a couple of years ago and we ended up crossing that friends with benefits line a lot, but we were still cool with everything and still hung out like we use to etc. Pretty soon though we started doing stuff with each other's families like bbq's and he'd come with me to my little sisters volleyball games at her school and such and I started to think maybe we could have something more then just best friends and friends with benefits. Too me he's the perfect guy and I could see myself settling down with him in the future. Well instead he went and got himself a gf. That really hurt! I finally accepted the fact that he had a gf after awhile but he changed when he started going out with this girl. He became the little hermit where nothing mattered except her and he stopped hanging out with his friends like he use too and he stopped hanging out with me and talking to me too. So maybe 6 months into their relationship he cheated on her with me one night. After that night he had a huge talk with me and told me how he missed having me as a friend etc. and that he wanted someone to talk too again and be able to share everything like he once use to do with me but he had thought there had been mixed feelings between us and that he wanted us to be cool with everything. I told him everything was fine with us and that I felt bad about doing what he had done the night before cause I don't believe in cheating and that was the first time I had ever done something like that before or in my case...been the other girl. So we promised it wouldn't happen again. Well that promise didn't hold on too long. It's happened 3 times now between us and every time it does regret immediately follows. He's told his gf about cheating on her once with some girl one night when he got really drunk. But the 3 times with me (he and I were both completely sober) he hasnít and when I ask him if he's gonna tell his gf about us, he replies with, 'no, why would I do that?' So why tell your gf about one girl and not the other?? I know your probably thinking to yourself why would I want something more with this boy if he treats his gf and one of his good girl friends the way he has been; but it's hard when there are feelings involved and a history/friendship. Basically what I wanna know is, why does he push me away though? I'm almost certain there are feelings for me there and sometimes I get the feeling that he tries to avoid me or not see me because he knows we can't resist each other. If thatís the case then why is he with his gf and not me? His gf is pretty young right now and he's like 10 years older then she...so its kinda like he's commitment free with her right now, whereas I think with me I could be something permanent. Why do guys get scared like that and push the person that they like away, I don't get it?? (One of his buddies said he was out with him the other night and when he asked him who he was with that night or who he was going home with, he drunkenly replied my name! Then he was like, I mean...and he said his gf's name...and was like ya thatís it...thats who I'm with.) The truth or your subconscience comes out sometimes with alcohol....so why would he say something like that? Unless there are feelings there that he's trying to push away and hide. But why?? If you could offer any help on this that would be great!! Thanks for your time!! :)
It sounds like he is enjoying having his cake and eating it too.
Why should he make a stronger committment to you if he can play with his girlfriend and then come back and play with you?
You need to stop cheating with this guy and move on.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com