I don't want to make him uncomfortable with my always proclaiming my love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My bf of 2 years and 8 months broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. It was a somewhat mutual decision, as I had said if some things couldn't be changed then I couldn't be with him anymore, and he does not feel capable of making those changes right now (he suffered from a bad relationship before and has some committment issues).
Whenever we talk (which is on an almost daily basis - and he gets upset if he doesn't hear from me in a while) he says how much he loves me and misses me, and how he always will. I love and miss him too, and just want us to be together. Yet despite him saying these things (including discussions of if he has to move away for a new job if I would move with him) he continues to say he is not ready to be with me. This hurts and confuses me a bit, as I don't understand if he loves me and wants to be with me then why are we apart. I know I want to be with him - and I would be if he wanted it.
Just this weekend he was in a pretty bad car accident, he is ok, nothing seriously hurt, but it has really scared me. I love him so much and don't want to lose him. But it is killing me to not be with him at this time, helping him recover. I have offered to be there, but he doesn't seem to want me there. I'm scared this near-death-experience might push him farther away from me. I tell him I love him, and am here if he ever needs me, but how much should I say?? I don't want to make him uncomfortable with my always proclaiming my love if he is now thinking to just move on with his life.
I'm very confused, I know I want to be with him, but I don't know what to do or how to deal with being apart that can help us get back together.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
It appears that you both love each other but he isn't willing to make a committment.
So one thing you can do is to drop your requirement for a committment--this is what caused you to break up, right?
That's my advice-- not very pleasant for you but a starting point.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com