Telling a Distance Friend you Like Him

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I really like one of my good friends. We don't live that close so we don't see each other often. Last time I saw him, he said he liked another girl that lived near him and he said she liked him to. He doesn't know that I like him, but I don't know if I should tell him or not. I've known him all my life so I don't know if it will bother him, but I don't know. Please help me, I'm really confused. Thank you. Advice
I'm sure he knows you like him, you guys are good friends! But maybe you mean he doesn't know that you'd be interested in dating him, even long distance. You might want to sit down and think about what it is you'd like to have happen with you guys. Would you like to just write and call more often, while you date other people in real life? Or would you want to sort of 'date' long distance, not seeing other people locally? There's a big difference between the two, because there are always movies and proms and other things that sort of need a real human nearby to work :)

If you really do want to date long distance, then think of some ways to make it work. Maybe you can go to each others dances, or see each other more often somehow. If it's just more contact you want, then realize that it might be hard to hear about him dating other girls if you started talking more.

Either way, after you've thought about it, definitely talk to him about it. Let him know that you enjoy him a lot and would like to talk with him more. He'll like that no matter what. And if the level you talk about is just too much for him, I'm sure he'll be flattered anyway that you asked. Just realize if it really is the higher level of contact that you want that it's a fair amount of work to make it work long distance, so it might actually be good if you worked on it slowly instead of jumping into a solid nobody-else relationship.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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