all our fights start over something very little and not important and it just escalates from there

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
me and my girlfriend have been dating now for 9 months.she has moved in with me and been living with me for about 5 months seems that we atleast fight one time a week.but something is different now we had a fight last night and again this morning and iam unsure about it.this morning we got up and started to talk about our fight from the night before then i say something from last nights fight and she gets tottally upset and starts to yell at me and when she usually starts to yell at me i get upset and go outside for a cigarette. this time she has yelled at me and she then makes a comment like oh are you gonna go outside and pout while you have your cigarette again. that makes me more mad so i just sit on the bed quietly then she goes i get together our deposit for the bank and go and take it to the bank. she calls me when im waiting in line at the bank and asks me where i am at i tell her iam at the bank and then she gets mad at me for not asking her if she wants to come. we get off the phone and then 5 mins later she calls me again and asks if i will take a shower with her when i get back i tell her yes.when i get home i walk inside and go start the shower wich she sees me go and right after i step into the shower she walks in the bathroom and yells thanks for waiting to shower with me and i say i just started it so come get in.she gets all pissed off again and doesnt get in the shower.this is pretty much how all our fights start over something very little and not important and it just escalades from there.please help. i dont know how to handle the whole thing what can we do.thank you a head of time Advice
He are some quick observations: she seems to be generally upset when you don't ask her what she wants to do. Like if she wanted to into the bank with you or whether she wanted to get into the shower first or together. Of course, these are stupid little things to fight over, but if you think of them as a generality and try to ask her more questions about what she wants to do she may get a happy face.

He is a webpage about fighting that we prepared:

Read those pages and pick up some clues.

Also, go to the main page of this website (which is and in the upper right there is a box into which you can type a search term. Try entering FIGHT and see what comes up.

Hope some of this helps!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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