Now I just ignore the e-mails but still they come and are getting more nasty.

Visitor's Question from a 61+ year old Male
I am over 65 and a swimming teacher with a happy married life of over 30 years, 3 children and 3 grandchildren. I am certainly not a flirt and most would consider me a rather boring personality.
The mother of one of the children I teach (who is 33 and went to school with my own children !) has taken to e-mailing me initially about her child but it has turned into an obsession - seven or eight e-mails an evening - expressing love for me and feelings for me and repeatedly asking if they are reciprocated ? They are not, in any way, and I have never shown (or could show) any desire whatsoever either in our meetings on the poolside or e-mails.
I made the mistake of initially replying non-commitally and directing the e-mail conversation around to swimming. Now I just ignore the e-mails but still they come and are getting more nasty. She is married with two children, a job in a local school and would generally be considered a very stable personality. She has a lot to lose (as have I) if this carries on.
Her child is a good swimmer and it would be unfair on the child to stop her coming to lessons, but I can see no alternative to this. The downside is that any change of habit would be noted by our small community and someone may start asking questions.
Is there any way of stopping this obsession ? Help ! Advice
Make sure you keep a copy of each of her emails for proof. If you don't have any, start saving them now.

Talk this over with your husband if you haven't done so already. He shouldn't have to be taken by surprise by this situation. And you need witnesses to support you. If you have a family lawyer, bring this to his/her attention and ask his advice.

My advice would be to tell her emphatically that she should stop contacting you in a personal manner and that if she does not desist you will report her to the police for harrassment. This should put the fear of god in her. If it doesn't you could also mention that you will report her to her school administration.

Best idea, though, is to see a lawyer and follow his advice.

Hope this turns out well for you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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