because of the chemistry and we are flirting and joking around

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have looked and found a lot of questions similar to my situation but mine is a bit harder.
Ok ill try to keep this short. Worked with girl for 1.5 years, we are friends and get along great, this will sound weird but we dont hang out. We occasionally exchange txts and hang out on campus and work (we work on campus). But summer is here and i havent seen her since February. We have exchanged some txt messages and talked about 3 times on-line since Feb. She has told me i am one of her best friends. We flirt (what i would consider flirting) and i have had liked her since i met her three summers ago. My feelings have since grown very strong-i love her. We have been asked by the secratary and people that come in at work if something was going on between us, because of the chemistry and we are flirting and joking around and they see us leaving together. Last summer i think (as do my friends)that she might have been trying to be more. She would ask me to hang out after work and did so kinda coy. Unfort we never hung out. Trouble is i said something in response to a joke she made about us bein a couple and gave her the impression i just wanna be friends. We have never talked about being more but i told my friends what she and i said and they agree--i screwed up. Assuming she was trying to be more, she is so mature, that she can "draw the line" and just be friends with someone who doesnt like her back in that way. Which is bad because i dont wanna be just friends and now she doesnt look at me as a potential boyfriend cause i gave her the wrong impression. She doesnt know i like her. Also she had a boyfriend last time i heard and i believe, almost positive, she is still w/him and i have a girlfriend. She had wanted to go on double dates w/me and my gf but i always so no because that would kill me inside. I love her and now things are complicated cause she thinks im one of her friends but i love her romantically and we both have boy/girl friends (i think). Because i havent talked to her i cant be sure of her situatcion and i think of her everyday and i know it sounds weird but i dont want to get close to her on a "friendly" basis because i want to date her not just be friends. But then i start to think nothing will happen between us. I would greatly appreciate your help. Advice
You have been pursuing this girl for 1.5 years.

what it takes is for you to "declare yourself." In other words, tell her that you love her. Don't worry if she has a boyfriend or if you have a girlfriend. Enough is enough. You have to make it clear to her that you love her.

Once the air has been cleared, things will fall into place. It might not be the place that you want, but at least you can release all this tension. And, who knows, if she says "no" you may be able to bury the past and move forward with your life.

I hope this is something you can do and that it works out for you.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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