Recently, I learned about her past and it causes much jealousy

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
My fiancee' is Japanese and lives in Tokyo and I am American and live in Atlanta and we plan to marry next year. Recently, I learned about her past and it causes much jealousy. She has had sexual relations with four other men - but all were white Americans guys just like me. Most of them were just brief one or two sexual encounters, the most was five or six times with her past boyfriend. But since they were all American it really bothers me more than if they were Japanese guys.
I asked her if I had a bunch of fomer Japanese lovers if she would be jealous? She said yes! So is my jealousy founded? I just feel a little cheated since the cultural and even racial differences that could be there to be enojoyed have all been experienced by her in other relationships before. Thanks Advice
My advice is to f-o-r-g-e-t about the past.

Do you love her? Do you want to marry her?

If you do, then these past relationships mean nothing except in your jealous mind. Try this with jealousy: attack it as hard as you can when it raises it's ugly head. Tell it to go away and leave you alone-- that it has no meaning to you now. After 100 times it will probably leave you alone.

Don't mess up a good relationship over the past. It's just not important enough!

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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