Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we are both 17. I very much feel like I truley love him and that he truley loves me, but we are going through and have been going through some very tough times in our relationship.
I have been having a hard time controlling my emotions lately (the past 2-3 months) and every time it gets bad, i take it out on my boyfriend. It isnít that he necessarily did anything wrong, and if i was in my normal state of mind i probably would never do or say some of the things i do. The point is though, that i do treat him bad and overract a lot.
I can easily admit this problem of mine to anyone. I am not in denial at all about this. Itís a fact that for some reason, over the course of 2-3 months (probably developing for about 6-7 months) i have changed into a very sad, unhappy person and itís effecting my relationship severley.
All me and my boyfriend do is fight! And it is all because of me!! I found a good therapist just a few weeks ago who im willing to talk to and i canít wait to sort out problems with her, but my boyfriend aproached me recently and told me that if i donít change SOON, then he canít keep trying much longer with us. I completely understand too because we have been going through this for a while and its killing him almost as much as its killing me. Itís also made me extremely dependent on him where i canít go a day without talking to him or seeing him. If he tells me he wants to just have a guys night or go to a party without me just for a bit, I FREAK! I have no one BUT him and its because of these issues that we are being torn apart.
I donít know what to do because seeing the therapist will get me good results, but it will take a long time. My boyfriend needs me to be a better girlfriend NOW! Iím so scared to lose him, because he really is all i have and i love him so much.
Have you considered that it might be PMS?
It might be the hormones released during your menstrual cycle that are causing the problem.
The only thought I have is that when you are feeling especially angry, you tell your boyfriend you need time to yourself.
You really need to discuss this with your professional counselor who can try to find out what's the problem.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com