Long term single, and jealous of complete strangers!Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Long term single, and jealous of complete strangers!
I am a 25/M who has been single for a shade over 5 years. Over the past... well, 2 years at least..... I have found myself being jealous of complete strangers!
Let me give you some examples:
A few years ago I went to this fancy dress ball with a group of friends. Some of them were couples and I was ok with that because I knew both parties reasonably well. The thing that got to me was all the other "anonimous" couples. Complete strangers that I wouldn't know from Jack & Jill! Couples seemed to be everywhere I looked! I ended up feeling like I just had to get out of there, which I did. I spent about an hour sitting on the front steps of the hall by myself just moping, and I'm not ashamed to admit, even crying a little. I did meet some friendly people who were willing to talk through my thoughts, which was nice. It did help a bit.
I sometimes walk though my local shopping center and find myself looking at all the (usually younger) couples around me. You know, the average teen couple walking arms-around waist, pashing/snuggling in the corners, looking each-other in the eye in that special way that only couples do. I find I do this more around mid feb (no need to say why!)
I guess I am subconciously wondering "why can't I find that?". My question to you is this: Why am I so jealous of complete strangers? Is it a usual thing for someone who has been single in the long(ish) term?
Being envious of other couples is natural in your situation.
All that means is that you wish you could have what they have without taking it away from them. This is different from jealousy where you don't want them to have their happiness. And, it is still not jealousy if you wish you were with the girl... that is just wishful thinking.
Putting all that aside, you need to find a way to attract and keep girls. My advice is to go on a serious self-improvement project. Build up your good points and diminish your bad points.
Choose your ten most favorable characteristics (e.g. honesty, faithfulness, friendliness) write them down and make an effort to emphasize one or more of them each day.
Likewise choose your ten least favorable characteristics (e.g. moodiness, dishonesty, slovenly) and work on deemphasizing them each day.
Write these down in the form of a diary and keep track of how you are doing. Practice on both men and women. And include older women too... practice with everybody.
All this will eventually lead to your meeting a nice young lady who is attracted to your personality and then who knows what might come next?
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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