i have anxiety issues and always feel that my girlfriend doesnt want to spend time with me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i have anxiety issues and always feel that my girlfriend doesnt want to spend time with me, and more with friends, family etc. im jealous of everyone one not just guys that have a good relationship with her, her best freind who shes known since she was born im jealous of. i hate being like this and know im wrong but cant help it. i would bend over backwards to help her, but i feel that shed rather speak and do things with other people. she tells me this is not true but its apparent in her nature. if she calls later then she said i get wierd and when she goes out with her freinds i want to know every detail, but restrain myself from asking cause i dont want her to think im a freak. every time we go out and drink we end up fighting its terrible and the next day ill appologise, i just want to gain self confidence and be more secure. the whole situation is bad cause it makes me seriously depressed, and im constintley thinking about her and my mind wanders and i end up making myself depressed and angry, when im with her im so happy. i screwed up my last relationship from these same issues, she dumped me after 2 years, my current relationship has been 3 months. shes going overseas on a contiki tour next month and you can only imagine whats going through my mind, cause th rumuors ive heard about contiki being sex tours etc. she wants to go on a break when she goes away for 2 months, this kills me so much, she promises me she wont sleep with anyone but cant gaurantee she wont pick up, my mind is tripping out of what shell be doing over there, everytime i try to talk about with her we just end up fighting...... i need some advice (sorry for length, thanks for listening)
Given your jealousy, you have a real challenge ahead of you.
Jealousy is a nasty habit that can ruin your relationship.
The best way to beat jealousy is to confront it whenever it manifests itself in thought or feeling. Tell the jealous thought to go away, that it has no meaning to you, that you don't believe it. Do this over and over and over and eventually the jealousy will give up hope of affecting you and it will go away.
You will probably backslide and let a thought come through, but don't give up... the next time one comes along fight it even harder.
Your girlfriend is being realistic and you need to be also. If you want to keep her, agree to the temporary break. A hard pill to swallow, but you have to do it.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com