I told him to stop saying "i love you"
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I first met him at a junior college where we were both in theatre.We became really good friends and loved spending time together.My best friend liked him but then a friend told me that he liked me and wanted to ask me out.I was worried of hurting my best friend so I avoided him but that only seem to ruin my friendship with him.He became cold and always seemed upset with me.But time went by, and my best friend wasn't interested in him anymore and he seemed to want to be friends again with me, but then we got closer, fell in love, and started dating.
It took a while at first because I was very shy at first but he kept trying and was very gentle.There were alot of worries though, because I'm Catholic and even though he was raised Catholic, he didn't want to conforn to any religion. So time went by and we had a very happy and loving relationship for 4 months (he even brought up the subject of marriage), but he started getting depressed over the religion issue, also he was getting upset with me for not letting him get more intimate with me, not that he wanted sex, but he wanted more making out, more kissing on the neck, etc.(that's something I wanted to save for our marriage)So he broke up with me because he said the relationship was just not working and that we should be friends.I didn't want that but I just said "ok" but then he was upset with me all over again.
Time went by and we talked every day for two months but then he didn't seem to want to be friends anymore and started ignoring me.He started going out with someone else so I stop all communication with him.He calls me up after a week and asks where I've been.He seemed to want me to ask about this girl but I never brought it up.Anyways, I go to see him in a play and the whole cast goes out to eat and there's this girl following him like a shadow.I just wanted to leave there but everyone kept stopping me and wanted to talk to me.Everytime I glanced in his direction he was staring at me.When I finally got out the door, he followed me out to walk me to my car.He hugged me good bye but then he held me and tried to kiss me on the mouth.I stepped back but he only held on tighter.I was so angry though I didn't let him.Things were really awkward for some time.We talked a few months after that and he told me that he stilled loved me the same way.He wouldn't give a clear answer though as to whether why we couldn't be together or if we ever would.I told him then to stop telling me "I love you" and let's be normal friends.He was upset again and I didn't hear from him until two months later we ran into each other at a theatre and it was as if nothing happened.During intermission he sat next to me and we talked and he told me that he missed me.I said the same because I do miss him more than anything and love him so much.
He doesn't seem to like to write or call me and he ignores me when I try to contact him but I wrote him an email on his birthday and he emailed me bach thanking me and asked me to emial him back.He going out with a new one right now.
This seems to be going in a circle for the past two years.The more I try to be friends with him the more he ignores me.But one of the last times he wrote me, he said that he missed me so much and that he loved me.Last time I saw him he gave me a kiss on the cheek.I don't know what to do.I told him to stop saying "i love you" to me but it's so far from the truth.I want him to say it forever, because I love him so much.But if I contact him I'm afraid of him giving me an excuse or ignoring me again and I'm so tired of that.When he walks into the room I'm in, I'm the only thing he sees and it's the same for me.What do you say to a guy who always wants you to bring up the subject.I'm still terrible shy!and I'm afraid.I don't want to be hurt.
You better grab this guy while you can.
I say that because you are over 21 and, in my opinion, are so shy that you may be lucky to find someone else. No matter what church you were raised in kissing on the neck is not something to be worried about. The Catholic Church is about the same strictness as many other churches. So don't use that as an excuse.
And, stop lying to him. If you love him then let him know and see what happens. Nobody wants to be hurt so don't be so afraid and shy. Life is for living, not worrying. Life is a bowl of cherries... reach in and take a few.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com