How do I suggest some time apart/taking a break?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
How do I suggest some time apart/taking a break?
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months and the last 2 have been lots of fighting even though things were SO great earlier in our relationship. We have stupid fights and he is still mad that I moved about 40 miles away (20 more than before) even as I had made plans to move far before I met him. We have talked about getting married someday and how great living together would be. I still think I might want to marry him, he is great and I don't know if there is anyone better out there. But I just started a new job and he has a few years of law school finish(we are both 23). I just don't know if I want a serious relationship with fights and stress and all the work for 3 more years until we would get married. He is not the kind of guy that is ok with breaks. How can I approach the subject so that he will agree with me and take a 6 month or 1 year break and then be together again?

L* Advice
You are not going to be able to suggest a six month or a year break.

I don't think anyone would accept that as being reasonable. It really is tantamount to a real break up. What is more realistic is to work on the arguments.

Fist off, he is in law school, so he is in an extremely argumentative field. You ought to just start agreeing with him on most things. It is very important to him. Perhaps if you could get past the arguing you would feel more comfortable being with him.

It is water under the bridge that you moved, so he is just going to have to deal with it. Lots of people have it worse than 40 miles.

If you want to suggest the temporary break up go ahead and try, but I wouldn't place any bets on his agreeability.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!

You need your space too
Try a break
40 miles not bad

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Breakup Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.