Man with three year old child returns to ex-wife

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was dating this guy for 5 months and who was recently divorced who has a sweet,little girl. His ex-wife who left him after a eight year relationship would treat him in very emasculating way. His pain from the experience was pretty evident but we hit it off right away and he admitted to me that he didn't know if he ever loved her and we hit it off better than they ever did, but she arrested and was facing all kinds of felonies charges for theft and drugs and in process it found out she is bipolar. Because of the guilt of the situation and wanting to make his 3 year daughter happy he decided to break up with me and try to reconcile with her even though she was neglectful, immature and irresponsible with their daughter. According to him, them being together was enough no matter how much she hurt him or want she did to him and they don't have any kind of real relationship. I told him he was making huge mistake. I have been so miserable and hurt and angry and completely lost because I really do love this man. What I am supposed to do now? I want to get married, I want to have children of my own but the thought or prospect of even dating someone else is beyond me. What do I do? Advice
If you haven't done so already, you might suggest to him that it would be better for his daughter's welfare if he got custody of the girl and stayed with you.

His ex has proven herself to be incompetent as a mother and has psychological problems too. It is uncertain whether the ex can overcome her problems and meanwhile the daughter suffers.

My advice is to have a long honest talk with him and find out more details about why he made the decision he did. Based on that try to figure out a way to address his needs and the girls too.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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