She's Just Broken Up from a 4-year relationship

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, I am a 23yr old guy who likes this girl who is 21yrs old. We know each other for a long time but we are not that close. We move in the same social circle and I have never told her that I like her because she had a boyfriend, they just broke up recently although it is not yet completely over. They were going out for about 4 yrs and she says that she doesn't want to be with him anymore.

We are very alike and I think that we would make the perfect couple, please tell me how to make it known to her that I like her alot and want to be with her without coming on too strong because I think that after her breakup she might want to be single for a while, but I'm not sure. I don't know what to do at all, I don't want to do the wrong thing.I would like to call her everyday but I don't because I don't want to smother her. I need some truly excellent advice. Please help. Advice
A relationship for four years is a LONG long time. She is definitely going to need a good block of time (maybe several months) to really get over him. And you definitely need to give her that time. If she starts dating on the rebound, all sorts of awful things can happen to that relationship. Which hopefully is not what you want.

You need to show her that you are her friend, you care about her, you will listen to her and support her and not pressure her. So be there to do all those things. Show her you're fun to be with and friendly. That you like the things she does. That you can be comfortable with her. When she gets over the rebound period and is actually ready for a new boyfriend, you'll be there right in front of her and she'll know already how perfect you are for her. But until then, you need to prove to her that you care about her first, and will wait for her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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