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All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand. --Ella Wheeler Wilcox



She sounds like bad news



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I understand it is healthy for my boyfriend to have female friends. Well rounded. I admit, I have a jealousy issue and currently trying to work this out.

My boyfriend tends to lie a lot, so I have a very hard time trusting him. He still talks to his ex wife who lives in another state. I get extremely jealous about that, but I realize that that it is impossible for their relationship to be sexual. When we hooked up, he was just recently (about one month) divorced and three months separated. He has made it clear to me that he would chose his friendship with his ex over a relationship with me. When he told me that, I was heartbroken. However, I have been worrying about the wrong female friend....

Here is my dilemma. I was always a little bit jealous of my boyfriend having this female friend, but I never thought they were doing anything more than talking. She is married and has two children. Out of the blue, he has been talking to her a LOT more than usual, and he said it was because he was helping her find a job. Again, I blew it off and just mentioned to him that I would like to get together with her and her husband sometime (to ease the doubt in my head). Then, I heard a voicemail (yes, I broke into his voicemail and very embarrassed and ashamed of it)It was a woman who said this, "....sorry I missed your call. Give me a call when you have a chance. Love you. Bye." Now, this wasn't a kidding upbeat kind of a "I love you." It was a different tone. A tone that you use with your wife/girlfriend when you say "I love you." We got into a huge argument about it, and he told me he wouldn't ever want to be with someone like her. She is married and she even told him that she has had sex with men on business trips and people from work. That made it even worse. Am I crazy for getting mad about the "I love you" or is he the one that's kidding himself?





RomanceClass.com Advice
You are wise to keep an eye on this situation.

The woman is up to no good and has a track record to prove it. You and he have plenty to work on your own relationship (everyone does) so he should be spending time with you and not with her.

Maybe it's time for you two to go to a counselor to get to the root of this.

Good luck,
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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