Hope for the bestVisitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I met a girl via online while I was out of the country (I feel I should mention our ages which may be of some relevance... I'm 19, and she is 16) and the day after I got back we got together. We seemed to hit it off like no other. A week later she was my girlfriend, and every since, like in every relationship, I've been learning a lot about her. What worries me is what I've learned about her past. I am a very straight edge guy. I'm happy (generally), I've never used drugs, played many sports, I'm very athletic and healthy and dont do anything that might jeopordize that. She use to be, and sometimes still is a very depressed person. At one point she was so much so that she cut herself to help relieve the depression. I found out about this and decided not to put much weight into it. After a little bit I learned that she lost her virginity at a VERY young age and has had many sexual partners (while I have not), many boyfriends (she has cheated on them all which I just found out). She use to be a drug user; weed, cocaine, heroin (for 6 months) and I just learned about this today. She is an AMAZING girl, and even though I've known her for a short time, I love her to death. I feel like shes the best thing thats ever happened to me and I'm as happy as I can be whenever I'm with her. But I'm beginning to get very worried. I dont know if I can trust her. She tells me that she loves me more than anything... that she looked back and realised she never really loved any of her ex's because she NEVER felt as strongly for them as she feels for me, but I can still see her cheating on me. She promised me she would not use drugs ever again, but I have a feeling she may be lying to me. This is only the tip of the iceberg... what should I do?? Should I just break things off with her before she is able to completley devestate me? Or should I open myself up to her and love her unconditionally and trust that she loves me enough not to hurt me? I'm so lost... but I feel like those are my only two options, and I need to make a move on them.
My advice is to trust her.
True, she may break your heart, and the odds seem good that she will. But imagine that you dumped her and never found anyone as nice.
As the old saying goes: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
Best wishes to you,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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