Botched romanceVisitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and my ex-boyfriend went out for almost a year. It's a long distance relationship but distance wasn't the problem. The problem was trust. I went clubbing one night with a girl friend. We met up with two of my friend's guy friends. I left my friend for a while and she drank someone else's drink which apparently had liquid G (date rape drug?) in it. Two of her guy friends brought her to one of the guy's house, and i had no choice but to go with her. Stupidly, I did ecstacy with my friend and one of her guy friend. We all were high out of our minds and i ended up 'sleeping' with the guy. I didn't know i did until my friend told me. I hated myself so much when i found out. I knew that i had to tell my boyfriend right after i sobered up. I called him while he was at a party and I told him everything. He started crying, screaming 'How could you?!' I didn't mean to. He couldn't talk to me anymore and one of his friends picked up the phone and told me it was over and that i was a hoe. I couldn't take it so i booked a flight to where he lives a few days later. He let me stay over his place. When I got there, we acted like nothing was wrong, and that we were still together. We kissed, we 'slept' together, and we even showered together. I'm not sure if it was fake because i kept bringing up suicide and he was probably trying all he can do to make me happy the week I flew there. He decided that we should be friends. I still believed we would be together even through everything that happened. When I got home, my friend told me he told her that he still loved me and he always will... Later, I kept questioning him. I told him to tell me that he doesn't love me and he won't regret leaving me. He said I was wasting my time and I should move on because alot is going on for him right now. He had school and family to worry about and he didn't want to deal with me now. He never said he didn't love me, though. I'm not sure what to think, but all i know is that I can't live without him and I want to be with him again...
First off. If suicide seriously comes to your mind CALL 911 immediately! A broken love at your age will mend.
As far as your boyfriend goes, the only thing you can do is to keep trying to maintain a connection with him and gradually work things out together.
Contact him regularly (twice a week?) to ask him how he is doing and to let him know that you are there for him if he has any troubles he needs to share with you. Make sure he understands that you still love him completely. In fact tell him that every time you contact him.
These few things may do the trick for you. I sure hope so!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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