Wait or tell her
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, I asked a question but I think I made it confusing and I got a weird response, so I fixed it. I am completely in love with my friend ( E from here on). E thinks of me as one of her best friends and tells me she loves me. We donít hang out, rarely talk on the phone, and we only see each other at work. This semester however we donít work together so i never see her. E has a class with a mutual friend of ours who tells me that E is always asking about me to see how im doing. The thing is I have been avoiding E because she has a boyfriend now and I love her so I havenít called her or anything because it hurts to be around her. When we see each other she would hug me and stuff and it would be bittersweet because I know how I meant that hug. I havenít been answering her calls or anything because like I said, Iíve been avoiding her. We used to be asked by the secretary at work if something was going on between us, because of the chemistry, flirting and joking around. This summer I think, as does our mutual friend (sheís been helping me out w/advice), that she might have been trying to be more. E would ask me to hang out after work and did so kinda coy. Unfortunately we never hung out. That same summer I said something in response to a joke she made about us being a couple and I think I gave her the impression I just wanna be friends. We have never talked about being more but I told our friend what happened and she said "I may have screwed it up but that doesnít mean forever". Assuming im right, and E was trying to be more, she is so mature, that she can just be friends. Which is bad because I donít want to be just friends and now she doesnít look at me as a potential boyfriend cause I gave her the wrong impression. E doesnít know I like her. She has a boyfriend now of like 4 months. She has asked to go on double dates w/me and my gf (of four months) but I always say no to her (because that would kill me inside). I like my gf but I am in love with E and now things are very complicated cause she thinks im one of her friends but I love her romantically. Thereís one more thing, E and our friend were talking after their class a few weeks ago and they were talking about me and my gf and how we might breakup and my friend told me E said "I hope he finds someone heís a really great guy" then a pause and "I donít know if I could date him". This pretty much made me cry when my friend told me this. Our friend said it isnít necessarily bad. I would greatly appreciate your help, God knows I need it, im hurting bad.
My answer is still basically the same... wait until E breaks up with her current boyfriend. Then you tell her how you really feel about her. Or, if you have the nerve tell her right now so that she has you in mind.
Hope this all goes well for you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com