Has a girlfriend and also a real love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Ok ill try to keep this short. I have a friend who i am completely in love with. She thinks of me as one of her best friends and tells me she loves me but we dont hang out or talk on the phone or anything, we only see each other at work. This semester however we dont work together so i never see her. She has a class with our friend and she tells me that she is always asking about me to see how im doing. The thing is ive been avoiding her because she has a boyfriend and i love her so i havent called her or anything because it hurts to be around her. when id see her she would hug me and stuff and it would be bittersweet because i know how i meant that hug. Thing is because i havent been anwsering her calls or anything i think she is mad at me and i may be making her think im weird. We used to be asked by the secratary at work if something was going on between us, because of the chemistry, flirting and joking around. This summer i think, as does our mutual friend (shes been helping me out w/advice), that she might have been trying to be more. She would ask me to hang out after work and did so kinda coy. Unfortantly we never hung out. I said something in response to a joke she made about us bein a couple and i think i gave her the impression i just wanna be friends. We have never talked about being more but i told my friend what happened and she said "i may have screwed it up but that doesnt mean forever". Assuming im right, and she was trying to be more, she is so mature, that she can just be friends. Which is bad because i dont wanna be just friends and now she doesnt look at me as a potential boyfriend cause i gave her the wrong impression. She doesnt know i like her. She has a boyfriend now of like 4 months. She has asked to go on double dates w/me and my gf but i always say no to her because that would kill me inside. I love her and now things are very complicated cause she thinks im one of her friends but i love her romantically. Theres one more thing, she and my friend were talking after their class a few weeks ago and they were talking about me and my gf and how we might breakup and my friend told me she said "i hope he finds someone hes a really great guy" then a pause and "i dont know if i could date him". This pretty much made me cry when my friend told me this. She said it isnt neccessarily really bad. I would greatly appreciate your help.
I am glad to hear you have found a girlfriend and that she is friends with your real love.
Your description of the situation is quite confusing and suggests to me that you should leave things the way they are. You have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend. If all of you breakup then you will have the opportunity to ask her to go out with you.
That is what has been missing from your relationship with your true love. You have to be brave and speak to her directly and sincerely tell her that you love her and hope that she could learn to love you too. But only after all current relationships are done.
Hope this helps,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com