Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am getting back with my kids' father. We separated for over six months, until December 2004 I found out the whole truth. When he said he was moving because I told him I don't want to live together anymore, I was convinced that he was moving by himself or with a guy. Soon I found out without him telling me that he was living with a girl. Then I later found out on December that he had sex with now his roommate and claimed that it just happened. When I realized that this was also my fault because I felt that I told him to leave and I don't love him anymore, I decided to give it another chance and work things out. However, during the time I found out that he had been f*** this white fat b*** behind my back and was never a man enough to admit it, I went through a roller coaster of emotions and started starving myself and just basically not eating. One good thing that got out of it was I lost a lot of weight that I started looking really good, and felt very attractive. Perhaps one of the hidden truth about his deception was for me to also realize that I am a marketable and hot commodity to others. Weeks later, we started rekindling our relationship, gradually - sort of dating again. It is a blessing in disguise. We started feeling more genuine feelings for each other. We started looking forward together about our future and getting married. But here's the really doosy - he is still living with the fat b***. It's quite difficult to still explain to others this situation. He already promised coming home before the 1st of April. Here's the question, though - Why is he having me wait still? Is this financial commitment with the white fat b**** because he is still technically her roommate? I see him almost everyday...He does his fatherly duties where he picks up one of our kids from school and sleeps over more often than before. But when he's not around, the biggest question of all is - Is he still f** around while he said that he wants to come home and soon start all over again? During this waiting period for him to really move back home places an unsurmountable amount of doubt on him. So, the thing is should I just be patient and take his word and wait until he move back and just move forward without looking back with hostile, ill-feelings towards the situation? Advice
It's up to you. If you really care for him then wait until Apr 1st and you will be back together again. If you don't think you can live with what he has done, then don't let him come back home. Only you know how much you care.

Make sure he understands that you are taking him back only if he remains on good behavior in the future.

I hope things work out in the best way for you!!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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